I may have talked about this before on my blog and forgot about it, but it’s okay to talk about things more than once.
I will probably post about it again at some point too.
Anyway, I am sick.
There has been something that has been going around lately. The girl whose desk is right next to mine has been coughing up a storm.
Well, I didn’t end up with a cough, but a really sore throat, light headedness, heavy weights on my chest, and body aches.
It started during Monday night when I was trying to sleep. I kept waking up all achey and finally at 4 am I was woken up enough by it to go and get some pain reliever.
Then when it was time for me to get up for reals, I have a fever breaking.
Well, since then it has just been a little bit of that sickness unhappiness.
But coming from a household with six kids, it’s always hard to admit that I am sick.
I can usually admit that I am not feeling well, but actually saying that I am sick is a little difficult.
When you live in a house with 6 kids, there is not a lot of time for one child to be sick, but also, since children are by default jealous of any other kid getting more attention than them, you get called a faker a lot.
Even as an adult you get called a faker sometimes.
This comes in the form of the following phrase:
Are you sure it’s not all just in your head/psychological?
Such comments, no matter how innocent they are, over time lead to an adult like myself.
When I begin to feel sick, I immediately think that I am faking it.
Or that it is all just in my head.
I have to check my temperature or look up my symptoms for justification of my not feeling good.
Or wanting to go to bed early.
And then the logical part of me jumps in and just thinks “Why?”
I mean, why would I fake not feeling well.
I still go to work each day and I don’t sit and tell people I am not feeling well except Rue and one person at work.
I still do any errands I need to, make any calls, and basically keep functioning except I will go to bed earlier and most likely take a nap as well.
But what’s the point of faking sick when you aren’t really getting out of anything?
I mean, I even do my make up still, because I will wake up in the morning and see my pale face, bloodshot eyes, purple under eyes, and sweaty forehead and think:
You’re looking pretty scary, Corz.
So, I do my make up to cover that up.
And I must be pretty good at it, because when I tell someone I am feeling sick, they will say “You don’t look sick.”
Yeah, that’s a picture of me today.
I did my make up to cover up the sickness.
The point is, when I feel sick, I doubt myself and I am the first to think I am a faker.
And then even after I have verified that I am in fact sick, I will still be sitting here thinking “Oh, it went away.”
But then I will stand up too fast or walk up a flight of stairs and drain myself completely.
It is still silliness though, because the only thing that really stops when I am sick is me going to the gym.
Which is a choice that is actually smart considering I can barely walk up a flight of stairs without passing out right now.
But despite this, I got this lovely message from a guy last night on an online dating platform:
Don’t be lazy. Get to the gym and sweat out this sickness.