Dear Diary/Blog

I normally don’t address you as “diary”, but I thought I would change it up. In fact, addressing my blog as diary was what gave me enough push to post on here currently.
Maybe someone has noticed, but I haven’t posted on here in a minute and I have felt guilty about that.
I just haven’t had much to say until I got to call my blog diary?
I don’t keep a real diary. I have found in the past when I sit and talk about my days later on I would go back and tear pages out, because I would read it and think I sounded like an idiot.

“I’m in love with (past boy name) and he hasn’t responded to me in 48 hours.”

Who cares, Corrie? Not that boy and even 6 months later you don’t even care.

My blog has been exempt from that since on here I mostly talk about my feelings and perspective on the world or small instances that happen. There are no specifics and there is nothing to feel embarrassed about later on.
To date, I have only gone back and deleted or marked private about 3 posts, whereas, in past journals I have gone back and tore out half of the journal before finally throwing it away.
It turns out that my blog and spiritual journals are the only things I can write about in my personal life.

Anyways, it is hard to write on my blog when there really isn’t anything happening right now.
I mean, I moved in with my grandfather and got a job and that’s it.
Nothing else has really happened besides snarky conversations and a lot of Hallmark movies he watches while I sleep on the couch.
(The beauty of that sentence is you can’t tell which person is 85 and which one isn’t.)

However, I do find myself doing things that are different from what I normally would do by myself and if someone outside the situation asked, it seems like we are really busy.
Like my dad called my grandpa (his dad) tonight and asked what we were doing, the response was:

“We are taking apart this lamp to see what is wrong with it.”

It sounds like we are killing it and engineer/mechanics.
But in reality we were trying to change the bulb, so we unscrewed the stand and it looked like one of the wires had snapped. Then we took the whole thing apart and then threw it away.
We learned nothing.

Recently someone asked me how I was doing and I responded “fine” and they got all up in a knot about it.
But I am just fine. I’m not skipping down the road, but my shoulders aren’t slumped either.
Sometimes things are just fine and it’s not negative, it just is.

So, Diary/Blog, if any of you have something you would like me to talk about, please feel free to let me know.
But until then, I am still here.
Doing just fine.

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