03/02/2016

Today I was thinking about something that I come in contact with often who is very intense. They are a very rough and almost difficult person to work with. I honestly think that they hate me in someways, but like me in a lot of other ways.
(I’m a very difficult person to not like. You really have to try.)
To be fully honest, this person intimidates me a lot. They can just be downright scary to me and not necessarily because I feel lower than them, but a lot of it comes from their approach being so different than mine.
Anyways, one thing that I end up thinking about a lot when it comes to dealing with other people is what their lives are like outside of the brief moments I happen to see them.
It helps me to re-frame my interactions with them when the situations get difficult and it also helps me to think of the reasoning behind their actions.

Well, as I thought about this person that I am intimidated by, a question for that person came to my mind:

What makes you cry? What fills your soul with sorrow?

Now, obviously I would never ask this person that question, but it still stuck in my mind and I even started picturing a few people that I have been thinking about lately crying.

I think the question came to my mind, because crying is a very humanizing action. It’s like hunger or fatigue, but more personal.
It is something that everyone, no matter how manly or what they say, have done at least once in their lives. It’s how doctors check to make sure that we are alive when we are first born.
But the more I pondered this thought and applied it to multiple people I have been thinking about, I realized that it was not just crying. I was thinking about these people (and even picturing them like an unseen observer in my head) filled with sorrow.
Not just any sorrow, but the kind that fills your stomach and can almost be felt in every inch of your body.

But there is a little more to this thought that kept creeping back to me. They say you can tell a lot about a person by what makes them happy, but I am almost inclined to believe that you can tell a lot more about a person by what makes them filled with sorrow.
The more I think about it, happiness can be personal, but sorrow is almost always personal.
Anytime a person or moment can bring us to tears or break us down, it is always personal and often times more lasting than happiness.

As I apply these thoughts to more people I come in contact with, I just have this aching desire to know what would bring them to that point.
And not maliciously, like I want them to feel that way, but for understanding.
If I understand what breaks your heart, later I can understand what wears you until eventually I can know what your plight as a human being is.
And that’s all I want, is to know and empathize and be connected.

But I am not even sure what the answer to what causes me sorrow is. I imagine it has something to do with loneliness and rejection, but it’s hard to tell when you are nowhere near feeling it.

It is still something to think about though.
What makes you cry? What causes you sorrow?

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