Wound Up.

So, lately I have been working on trying to be happier, which is probably obvious after the last couple of posts I have done.
And of course to be happier, you have to focus on the things you are doing that are causing you to be unhappy.
It takes a lot of self-awareness, which isn’t the funnest thing in the world.

Anyways, the thing I have found myself doing a lot is sitting and thinking over the things I want to say or react to situations over and over again until I am completely wound up until…

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I find that if I sit and think about things that happen at work or in my personal life, I start to think of how I should have reacted or how I am going to react the next time that person talks to me.
I get super upset and I’m worried I am going to get an ulcer.
Or even worse, I start getting really down on myself and getting very guilty over things that I have done. Regret and such.

So, what I decided to do was just not think about those things anymore.
I feel like this is a given and for years people have been telling me to just let things go and brush it off, but it is easier said than done. Especially when the people telling you are not the best at letting things go themselves.

I think it’s working?
I do feel a lot happier and I am a lot more calm when things go down.
However, then I do wonder sometimes if, by not thinking about things, that I am just letting things go that I should pay more attention to?
Who knows.

I don’t know if you can really have it both ways. (Duh)
You can’t sit and over analyzing things and still be happy with imperfect outcomes. Or you can’t be happy but then run through what has happened in your life with a fine tooth comb looking for what you could have done better.

The other day I found out some news that wasn’t my favorite.
Just more opportunity given in a situation that I was in a few months ago. Better circumstances for the people who decide to do the same thing I did awhile back.
And I was upset. Disappointed.
My friend and I talked about it and I told her how disappointed I was about this and what a better situation I would be in now if that opportunity had been available to me.
What the heck, universe?
But then after as we were leaving the subject, I said “Well, that was what upset me and now we don’t have to talk about it again.”
That was a…different reaction than how I used to react. I would let it fester until…

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I don’t even know whose ass it is, but I am going to do it!

Anyways, I think it’s working?
Now, if I talk about my problems, it’s because I want to. Consciously deciding that I want to talk about this.
Not because I am going to blow.

Go Team!

(There is a video there. View it Here)

And yes, it had to be that video. It makes me smile.

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