Okay, living in Utah for the last couple months has been difficult.
I have said this before and I will continue to say it til the end of time.
(“Hey, remember that time I moved to Utah? What the hell?”)
Well, I still haven’t made any friends or even found the type of people you want to hang around with. This takes time, especially when you are an adult and you are never consistently around people.
Plus, the places I used to feel comfortable in that should be consistent are no longer comfortable, but that is a different post.
You can’t see me wink.
Anyways, my day is mostly filled with working. Lately I have been working 10 hour days.
With lunch it’s really 11, but lunch doesn’t really count.
Well, then I have a roommate who is a little…different.
Just imagine coming home after working 10 hours and you are immediately greeted by someone telling you everything horrible that happened in the news.
Or all the details of their day. Complete, full details.
I find a lot of nights I suddenly do not want to make dinner.
So I just go to my room which is still not my own.
Anyways, I have been noticing a strange trend where I wake up every morning wanting ice cream for breakfast?
But also every day after work I drive home and I park my car. Then I sit in said car in silence for 20 to 45 minutes.
Just sitting there. Not really thinking about anything.
I have felt it before that my car is more like my room now that I am an adult.
Which makes sense, it’s the one thing that is always 100% mine. I haven’t had my own room in 4 years.
I pay double my rent on my car payment. Even more if you count gas a month.
And just like rent I will no longer have my car if I stop paying.
Also, I strangely expect people to respect the fact that it is my car. Anytime I have been insulted in there, it was more offensive because obviously my car is a safe place.
Well, today was an especially hard day. Again, worked 10 hours.
And in a skirt, which is always the worst. (Going to have to wear a hoodie for a couple of days to balance that out. One meeting and you have to be in a skirt all day? Blah.) My hair needs to be dyed, so it looks horrible.
I still don’t know what I am doing with my life (see previous post) and due to recent changes in my life, I have been trying to learn to control my emotions. Or not act on them really.
I am a very emotional person and a very reactive person. So, holding things in is not really my forte.
Anyways, finally got home for the day and I again just sat in my car.
And then I almost wanted to sleep in my car. Just not go inside, but take a nap in my car.
But that would mean more time in the pencil skirt and we just can’t have that.
Yet another reason why I need my own apartment and possibly a puppy.
I’m not exactly sure where I was going with this, but you get the point.
Blah Blah Blah, something about my car.
(There is a song, you can listen to it here. In My Room by The Beach Boys)