You’re hilarious, I think…

Okay, do you ever have a moment where someone says something extremely witty and funny and the timing was just perfect, however, this particular comment they made was at your expense?
The problem with these sorts of jokes is that you become conflicted.
On the one hand, you think it’s hilarious and you can recognize a good burn when you see one.
On the other hand….Ouch.

Today, my coworker that transferred out to Utah with me (so my only sort of friend) made a joke at work about how I am pretty much alone out here.
It was hilarious and I got a good laugh out of it.
I am okay with laughing at myself.
But that doesn’t take away the fact that I am lonely and I don’t have anyone out here with me.
So, ouch.

I moved out to Utah where I don’t have any friends or family and most of my days are spent by myself unless I am at work.
I did choose this when I decided to move out here, but you don’t really think you’re going to be lonely until you’re actually in the situation.
I have actually found that weekends are not my favorite time because I don’t work.
What usually happens is I will work on Saturday, because I am broke and it gives me something to do, then I will take 4 hour naps each day of the weekend and then watch large amounts of Netflix.
This is my weekend.
Completely spent in a room by myself (whether my bedroom or my Office) doing things to keep my mind busy until the next work day when I will be around other people consistently again.

Recently I realized that I am a lot more broke from this move than I originally anticipated and so I cannot go home for Thanksgiving and maybe not even Christmas.
There just isn’t really the money for these things.
Well, my one coworker offered for me to come have Thanksgiving dinner with her and her husband.
So, in a way I feel like this gives her the right to poke fun at the fact that I am completely alone. I mean, she is aware of the situation and now it is affecting her life.
Plus, it was a really funny joke.
However…
Yeah.

My good friend in California texted me today and I told her about the fact that I can’t come home for Thanksgiving.
When I further explained that I did not know anyone out here, her response was as follows:

You’re so strong. I wouldn’t be able to handle that.

I know I have talked about it before on my blog, but when people say things about you being amazing or strong, I feel like fighting with them.
You never want to be that person who fights a compliment, but that is one compliment I can never own.
How could I be strong when I think this is super hard?
I feel like I am just barely getting by and trying to do the best I can by myself and every day I wish I could just find a consistent friend to spend time with.
Is that strong?
Not really.

I’ve been listening to this song a lot lately and I would like to think it applies to Utah.

(There is a song, you can listen to it here. Turn Around by The Postal Service)

How’s your weekend going?

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