I have successfully become a ghost.
Let me elaborate.
Last night I was out with some friends and we went to go get some ice cream.
Well, we were all sitting around a table eating ice cream and another person came and walked up, one of the people at our table started to introduce everyone and started off with:
“This is Corrie, she is amazing. So enjoy her for two days, because she is gone.”
Whoa, what the heck?
I had that moment where I realized that I was leaving. Which I have been making plans this entire time for when I leave, but right then is when it finally hit me that I was actually leaving.
That’s when it got weird.
Suddenly everything I did with my friends or everything that I am doing now just feels like I am living in a memory.
Which sounds very odd, but that is how I feel at the moment.
Everyone that I talk to, everything that I do has relevance to what is happening right now, but also does not matter because I will not be here to see the results of what happens.
It’s like I am living in a memory.
Everything that happens is relevant and I am a part of it, but there is nothing I can do about what follows.
I am just a ghost hanging around that everyone is aware of, but I can’t really be a part of anything because I am already gone.
I don’t know what else to say about this except I am sad.
But sad doesn’t really cover the nostalgia I feel for the actual moments I am living in.
I am missing people who I am standing next to. I am pining for this that are happening in front of me.
I am a ghost.