I got your number!

I feel like the last two years have been a huge learning activity in terms of dating and what to do about men.
Those of you who have been consistently reading my blog know this.
But all of these learning activities has led up to me becoming more and more relaxed in terms dating.
I am still not very good at it and this is why I have become relaxed.
Because when I am actively searching it out, it gets disappointing.
Expectations are not your friend.

So, I like to put out my thoughts on dating, not because I want to help anyone, more so I just like to write out my thoughts and this is like my public journal.
Recently I sort of gave a guy my number.
And by sort of, I mean this happened:

Brother Stapleton

First off, this guy was a lot cuter than he sounds in my description.
Second, if you were wondering if I am scared to walk up to a guy and give him my number, I am not.
However, anytime I have ever done this, it never really works out for me. So this time I wanted the guy to have my number, but I didn’t want the rejection that comes with him not texting me.
So, they can reject Brother Stapleton and it’s no reflection on me.
Right?
RIGHT?!

Well, I was sort of surprised Brother Stapleton was down for it.
Surprised the guy took the number from a random older gentleman.
But even more surprised when I got a text the next day.
My scheming plans work sometimes? What the heck with this?

So, I had been texting this guy and it really didn’t seem to be working out. He wasn’t that interested in me and was consistently telling me “I’m just saying words to you.” or admitting to not being into the conversation.
Okay, I don’t need someone to just say words to me. I would rather have someone actually engage with me.
And then it dawned on me: I don’t have to keep texting some guy who is not interested in me.

You are probably laughing at this point. “Duh, Corrie.”
No, not duh and I will tell you why.
First off, it can feel so amazing to have someone texting you. Even if it’s a guy you aren’t getting on with, to come back to your phone and find out someone had something to say to you…YES!
I don’t have anyone except my sister saying things to me and especially not guys.
I want to have a guy texting me and to have my phone light up all the time.
But not like this.
And yes, that’s a stupid realization to come to, but it was a realization.

The second reason this is not a duh to me is that so many times before in my life I have been so craved for a boyfriend that I would never openly be okay with just “Oh, we don’t click.””
If a guy seemed disinterested, I was going to make him interested!
I was going to text that heck out of him until he loved me, gosh darnit! Because I need a boyfriend so bad!
So, having a situation where I can openly go “Okay, he’s not interested. Oh Well.”
That’s a big deal to me! I am growing up and becoming more patient and crap!
This is awesome!

The point is, I am a bit proud of myself for being empowered enough to let go of trying to force myself on guys.
Just because a guy will text you does not mean that you will live happily ever after.  And it’s okay to decide you don’t see it.
Also, get your bishopric members to hand out your number.

I’m getting better at life and stuff!
You can’t see me wink.


(There is a song there. You can listen to it here.)

 

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