The cons to being nice.

So, remember that one time I posted about me going to the Optometrist?
That lady said some crazy things to me and after when I told my sister about what she had said, her response was “Why didn’t you stop her when she was saying this?”
Well, like most passing things that are said to me, I started to think about this a lot.
Why didn’t I stop her when she was saying all these things to me?

There is this co-worker of mine who is rather negative.
There is not one thing in the world that this person does not complain about.
Well, this person has taken a habit of coming to my desk in the morning and telling me all the problems they have with the company.
Venting to me about all the things they do not like and how they should have been promoted and most often how much they do not care about their work anymore.
In fact, anytime I bring up anything to this co-worker, since we are on the same team, their answer to me is “I do not care.”
They proudly tell me how they have given up at their job.
Well, I hate that they confide in me like this. I love my job, I want to do a good job and I dislike anyone who is doing a sub par performance because they feel they were owed something at some point.
I hate when someone consistently tells me the issues with a company, but have given up trying to make it better.
Please, keep your complaints to yourself as I am not the company’s complaint department.

But do I say this to this person?
No, I simply listen and nod when they are talking.
Give them my attention and taken in what they same.
The same thing happens when the lab assistant at the optometrist starts telling me about being abused as a child.
I do not want to hear this, but I just sit there while it happens to me.

Well, when they start talking and telling me personal things like this, I always just sit and listen, because what if no one else will listen to them?
What if  that lab assistant was really opening up to me and needing someone to hear what happened to her?
I’m an odd choice, but what if?
I’m just trying to be nice. And I wonder if the cons of trying to be nice and be there for people is to hear things that you don’t really want to be hearing, but you do it anyway?

The more I have thought about this, the more I realize that there are so many times when people come to me and tell me stories in which I just give an ear and don’t lend any advice.
I have often wondered why certain people would flock towards me and why suddenly they would feel very close to me.
I wonder if it is listening or if it’s some other thing I do that I cannot see.

Anyways, I am slowly noticing that if someone approaches me and starts talking about something I don’t care to hear about, I will most of the time just take it.
On the flip side, I rarely open up to people in real life.
My sister is always messing with me about how private I am.
Which is unintentional.

I am slightly hypocritical when it comes to information.
What can you do?


One thought on “The cons to being nice.

  1. This happens to me a lot, too. I just listen and let them vent. I agree that it can be bothersome, especially at your job. Maybe if you told your co-worker that you really like your job, and say something specific that you like you can help turn their attitude around.

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