I have so much to give…

So, when I was four years old my aunt got me my first pet.
Here is where I learned that my aunt didn’t really get me. You see, I wanted a puppy.
Yeah, she got me a goldfish.
Which is actually a common first pet for most children.
“Oh, you have a basic human need to love and care for something? You’re so naive, maybe you won’t notice that this animal does nothing.”

Well, I didn’t notice, because I really wanted a puppy and I was certain that fish wanted to be a puppy.
So, I would pet it all the time. I would climb up on the shelf, stick my hand in the bowl and pet my goldfish.
He died quickly.
Quitter.

As I have gotten older I have realized that the lower maintenance a creature is, the harder time I have keeping it alive.
Case and point, when my family move to California and I spent that year alone in Vegas, I was really lonely.
I spent a year watching Netflix. Some of you may remember that year. (2012 posts)
Well, my landlord didn’t want any pets living in her house (or me, really). So I decided it would be really cool to get a plant.
They say if you talk to plants they grow…
All four of them.
The last one I even researched what flower would be best, I got an orchid. I bought it plant food, miracle grow for the soil.
The works.
Died.
All dead.

Dear Flower,

I want to make you happy. What can I do for you that would make that a reality?

…P.S. You’re kind of withholding.

I would make a The Little Prince reference, but that’s too beautiful for this post.

I have no problem keeping a child alive, I was a nanny once.
I have no problem with keeping a dog alive.
I’ve even kept birds alive.
But fish and plants just don’t jive with me. We are just different, I guess.

My parents have a dog, Winston. We have had him for years, since I was 14. And anytime I come home, he stands at the top of the stairs so stoked to see me. And as I begin walking up the stairs, he tries to anticipate which room I will go in, based on the ones I go to most.
So he will get excited and run into the kitchen and each time it breaks my heart when I have to go to a different room.
Like I’m letting him down for not going in that room, when really he is just trying to preemptively follow me.

That sort of high maintenance pet makes sense to me.
I’m clearly emotionally needy and I like things around me to be as needy as I am.
…Which is why I pet goldfish.

You can’t see me shrug.

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7 thoughts on “I have so much to give…

  1. Yep I agree plants are hard to maintain. At least for me too. I do love orchids but I’m too lazy to grow them.

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