This is one of those posts where I explain something that girls commonly do.
Or at least elaborate on why I commonly do something that puzzles other people.
It has to do with my hair.
Ever since I was 14 and I learned that I could change my hair color, I have done it a lot.
In fact, if you have followed my blog long enough, you have seen my hair red, blonde, blue, purple and black.
I play with my hair quite a bit.
And what usually comes with that is someone always asking the question: “Why do you have to change your hair?”
Well, last night I dyed my hair brown and this time around I really paid attention to why I was dying my hair.
The last week I have been pretty down and pretty all over the place.
I have had a lot of things happen that just left me feeling a little lost. I was just upset.
And randomly it came into my head that I should just dye my hair brown.
Just going to do it.
So, I went through with my impulsive action. (My hair is now dark brown)
But I did stop and look at why I felt not only that I should change my hair color at this moment, but why I needed to. Why it had to be done right the same day I got the idea.
It ended up being something really psychological and it was just all about control.
I am at a point in my life where I feel like I have no control. So many things around me act without any say from myself.
I just have to sit here while they happen to me.
All I can do is react afterwards and then accept what happened.
So, what can a person do when this happens?
I can’t make people like me. I can’t suddenly gain more respect at my job.
I can’t be prettier suddenly. I can’t suddenly have more success. I can’t be skinnier suddenly. I can’t suddenly have friends or have people react the way I want them to.
I can’t suddenly fix all my problems.
But I can have total control over my hair. I can randomly decide that my hair is going to be completely different and everyone will have to look at me different because of this.
It’s one of the few things where I have complete control and everything else in my life will have to adjust to my whims and mercies.
So I did it.
I proved that I have control over something.
And yeah, it really did make me feel better. I looked in the mirror and I didn’t recognize myself, but I did feel better.
Live with it.