What I think when I look at old couples.

Okay, simple fact of life (Or at least my life) is that after you have been out of a relationship for a while, you kind of forget what that’s all about.
Also, you start to wonder if you have ever been in love. I remember at the time I thought I was so in love, but I personally do not remember the feelings that I was having or what was going on there.
It’s been 2 years.

Anyways, the other night I was driving and I stopped at a stoplight. I looked over to my right and I saw this older Asian couple in the car next to me. They actually had a really nice new car too.
But they were cute.
And I couldn’t help but think:

Has he loved her this whole time?

With a followup of:

Did he think she was the most beautiful woman in the world when they met? What about their wedding day?
Does he still think she is beautiful now?

Now, I obviously thought about this man’s thoughts on his wife since I am a girl and I don’t need to project her feelings, since if I was in that situation I would be in control of my own feelings.
Okay, I fully recognize that this is not what real life relationships are like where the man just fawns over the woman. And I realize that I was totally projecting my wishes on this couple and this is totally sappy.

But at this point, looking at existing couples and enjoying their happiness is where I am at.
I don’t mean to say that in a depressed way, but more of just saying it in general. I feel like I tried so hard with dating the last year that at this point I don’t want to try anymore.
I want to cuddle with my body pillow and pretend it’s a man who adores me. And I want to look at older couples and imagine they have been so happy growing old with each other.

This isn’t real life. This isn’t how things work, but I’ve reached a point where I do not remember the real life situations.
So I make them up.

I’m mentally healthy.

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