If you start crying, I will…

Okay, I really love my job.
I’m comfortable with it and it’s just my cup of tea. Plus, I work for a really good company.
However, it is tech support. We have customer service mixed in, which most jobs do, but we are mostly tech support. Not high advanced tech support, but still there.

The other day, I made someone cry at work though. Not a customer, but an actual person that worked here who I was training.
I was in the middle of training her and she started crying.
I was dumb-struck. Flabbergasted if you will.
I did not know what to do.
I mean, we are in the work place. In my cubicle. I am trying to teach you things are you are crying.
So, I said:

Are you crying?

And then walked away and spoke to my supervisor until she had left my cubicle.

Now, in hind sight, probably should have done something. Probably should have comforted her or said something, but I was being reassuring and I was telling her she was doing a good job and we still ended with crying.
So, I wasn’t sure if it was me who made her cry of what exactly was going on.
And mostly, I don’t know how to react to such things in the work place.  This is work. You can’t give someone a hug or ask them what’s going on in their personal life.
Also, I am trying to train someone. I don’t know how to comfort them when I ask them something and they start crying.

So, this happened and I didn’t work yesterday. I come back today and it’s been turned around that I yelled at her.
What?
Did I yell?
What? No.
So, being the logical person that I am, when I hear that someone said I yelled at them, I responded with:

If you want to see yell, I can show you what yelling is.

Which of course my supervisor said that would just make things worse. I was just making a point, clearly.

Here is the thing, I am a very nice person. I am compassionate and I care about people. I want them to succeed and feel like what they are doing has value.
But I think when things happen in the work place, it’s difficult for me to judge where the personal part of me who wants to care and comfort crosses the line of the part of me that expects a good job and for people to perform.

I obviously don’t want to make anyone cry or intimidate people.
This has never happened to me before. And if it does happen, do you just walk away and wait for them to leave your cubicle?
Cause that’s what I did.
And now I have to work with this person.

I don’t…
Life is awkward and I feel uncomfortable.

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3 thoughts on “If you start crying, I will…

  1. O.K. so someone starts crying unexpectedly in your cubicle. Said someone is not a friend or even an official co worker yet . . . maybe you could have handed her a tissue? I don’t know, weird actaully. Wait a minute, didn’t you say you are a serial killer? Maybe she’s on to you.

  2. Yeah, maybe you should have spoken with her after the incident, to clarify what your intentions were. You could have told her that you didn’t intend to come off harsh and make her cry. Emotions are good. We often try to discipline people to not have emotions, and we don’t know how to react to them in the workplace. The “machine” doesn’t like emotions or emotional people, just production. The iron routine doesn’t have any place for emotions and we all contribute to killing other people’s emotions. But maybe a little comfort and an explanation would have helped with the new hire, and made for a more comfortable working environment.

    I’ve made someone cry at work, as well. It caught me off guard. It was the first and only time I’ve done this to someone. It turned out to be a misunderstanding. I said something in a way that sounded harsh but I wasn’t intending to sound harsh. I cleared the air. It was a little awkward at work for a little while but it got better soon after. It turned out that this person cried often. She was an emotional person, and some of us are more emotional than others.

    Give it a little time and I’m sure things will turn around. When the opportunity presents itself try to make amends.

    I tend to be pretty unemotional so I come off as insensitive to emotional people. I’ve even told people upfront that I can be this way so as to avoid any misunderstandings.

  3. I work in an office with no windows or cubes and there are two equally awkward moments…whenever someone cries or is humming. We all wear headphones and mind out own business. I think if a co worked cried in mid conversation it would be hard not to awkwardly laugh or just walk away ha ha

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