One of the best things about humanity is our way to find a generic header, either a common issue or a title, that we can stick everything that we don’t want to think about or every issue we have under.
Why did your marriage end?
Well, when the recession hit…
Anyways, sometimes in my life I end up finding one of those headers that I can just put all of my problems under.
I like to visualize a spiral notebook where I would write all of my problems, line by line. And on the front of this spiral notebook I would write in Sharpie this header.
About a month ago my work switched my work schedule. I now work 6 am to 3 pm.
So, now my current Sharpie header is: “I wake up at 4:30 am.”
Before it was that I wasn’t having sex. Not that this changed, but the fact that I wake up at 4:30 am just seems to fit every problem I have better.
Or my mind just links my problems to this more than it does the other header before that.
Why are you so tired? I wake up at 4:30 in the morning.
Why are you impatient? I wake up at 4:30 in the morning.
Why are you stressed out? I wake up at 4:30 in the morning.
Why don’t you go out more or have a boyfriend? I wake up at 4:30 in the morning.
Why didn’t you work out? I wake up at 4:30 in the morning.
Why didn’t you pick up your contact prescription? Hey, Come on. I wake up at 4:30 in the morning.
It just kind of fits all of my problems. Except being broke.
Although I feel I would be able to cope with being broke more if I woke up 2 hours later everyday. At 6:30 am.
Like a normal person.
Anyways, I actually sometimes find this header I put on my problems to be slightly comforting.
It makes it easy to not worry or over think my problems, because I can assign them an easy answer or explain them easily.
Now, even though logically I know not all of my problems would be solved if I woke up later, it still is just nice.
My life is imperfect and hard, because I wake up at 4:30 in the morning.
That’s the only explanation.