I can bench press an elephant. At least.

Alright, here is something that frequents my thoughts quite a bit. It is also something that I spent a long time last night talking to a friend on the phone about, because it was on my mind.

So, we can’t really pick and choose the things that will affect us in life. Especially the things that will affect us negatively.
A couple of months ago I read this fictional story about a policewoman who pulled over a 24 year old law student and somehow this policewoman decides that this young woman is entitled and “weaker” than her. So she targets this woman and basically destroys this young woman’s life. The policewoman takes her license, gets her fired, steals her husband and has him cheat with the policewoman in front of the young woman, sends her to jail.
And I kept reading it, because it was one of those times where you keep waiting for the victim to be justified and she wasn’t.
Now, my first reaction to this story was I just wanted to die. It just repulsed my entire spirit to read something so evil like that. I remember crying after reading it and even now my insides cringe when I think about it.

So, why am I bringing up something that hurt/upset me so much?
Because one of the things that this evil policewoman kept bringing up was that she was “stronger” than the other woman and that’s why she destroyed her life.
Now, in my mind destroying another random person’s life is pathetic. If you were really secure and “strong” in yourself, you wouldn’t need to do something like that. And whoever wrote that story obviously has some sort of issues with woman, or at least that’s how it reads to me.

But regardless of how my logical mind can disregard this story, my emotional, human mind was hurt and left questioning my own strength as a person.
I was left wondering if all that had happened to me, what would I do?
Would I be able to keep my head and move forward? Or would I be contemplating suicide like the 24 year old at the end of the story?
Where does my strength lie or do I even have any?

This is not something that is consistently on my mind, but there are times and days like yesterday where everything bad that could happen that is out of your control reaches its climax. And to sum it up, you are left sleeping in your car.
And on days like that, that is when I question my inner strength as a person. That is when I think of that story and begin to wonder where I would stand when horrible, unfair things happen.

One thing that I have been seeing lately that has made an interesting comeback would be:

Keep Calm and Carry On!

Okay, I find this phrase very funny. Not because its a bad mantra, in fact it’s very sound advice. But where the phrase originated makes me laugh.
This phrase used to be a motivational poster in England during World War Two.
So, basically when they start bombing the city and you’re watching your friends and family either explode or burning alive, just relax. Take a few breaths, count to ten and shake it off.
Comforting advice from the government.

Anyways, I have never been in a bombing situation, but I have been in a lot of situations that really people shouldn’t have to be in. A lot of very stressful situations that just sucked.
And I feel like I have the “Carry On” part down pretty well. When situations arise, I am generally able to realize what needs to happen and start to take steps toward getting myself or those that I can help out of the situation.
But I feel my lack of strength comes from the “Keep Calm” part. Because even though on the outside I can stop myself from freaking out, my insides want to scream.
Even thinking about some of those situations still makes me want to scream and cry and give up.

So here is my inner pondering, what constitutes be a metaphorically strong person? Is it remaining 100% calm when inside and out? Is it being able to exert power over other people? (And if it is…Pass)
Or is it being dealt a really bad hand and wanting to give up, but you still work with what you have and work to improve it?

I really don’t know, but I would like to be a person that would be very difficult to beat down.

Also, I have no physical strength whatsoever, so in a literal beat down, I will probably give up.
Just quit while I’m ahead.


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