“We were the people that we wanted to know.”

First off, I can never tell if it is cheesy to post song lyrics, but those are from one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands. It fits.

Okay, everyone remembers my post the other  day about friends, I guess I’m kinda expanding on that.
Every time I get in one of those moods where I start crying because I am lonely and I have no friends, my mother always asks me the same question:

Well, do you even like yourself? Would you even want to be your friend?

I think that maybe my problem all together. The answer I always end up saying is Yeah. I would hella want to be my friend. I really, really like myself. Not as conceit, as even though I have flaws, I am someone I always wanted to be. What is better than that?

There is this movie that I think about a lot. It was just a Romantic Comedy, nothing super existential or life changing. Something you go to see when there isn’t a big movie playing like Batman or Lord of the Rings.
It was called All About Steve. Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock. Didn’t turn out to be a romantic comedy in the end, but about liking yourself for who you are.
You see, Sandra Bullock is chasing after Bradley Cooper trying her damn hardest to get him to like her, but in the end she realizes that she needs to be with people who are like her and like her for her.

I know you all have had feelings for someone, not romantic ones, but it is still almost comparable to a celebrity crush. Everything you have ever wanted in a person as a friend or someone to know, there they are. What up?
And you can’t help but feel that there is no way in the universe this person and you should not hit it off. No reason you should not be like magnets for each other. You’re amazing, their amazing. When you like someone who much, how could they not like  you? It’s science.
Your platonic soul mate, at least in your mind.

There is this person that I have known for two years through the internet and they are obviously the epitome of cool. I like them a lot, I can’t help but compliment them all the time.
But you know what? They don’t know me. They don’t read my blog. They don’t read my tweets. Which seems silly to bring up, but this is a long-standing Internet acquaintanceship. They don’t message me. They get distracted in the middle of me talking and then don’t talk to me for a week.
(Okay, tangent, there is nothing worse than someone getting distracted while you talking to them. I don’t care if it’s on the internet or in real life. Uh, I’m not boring, I think you missed that part.)

Okay, I am not upset about this. Leaves you a little bitter, but life goes on and not everyone is going to like you. Hey! We are still in an acquaintanceship and it goes pretty well as far as those things go.
The point I am trying to make is that maybe I sit and expect to be friends with the wrong people.
Maybe the people who I think are like me and would really get along with me is just me expecting Bradley Coopers. Maybe you aren’t supposed to look for the people who are like you, but look for the people who actually like you.

Then I wonder if I just got the process mixed up. I always hear people say that their best friend brings out the best in them and that they make them want to be a better person. They surround themselves with people who make them want to change and make them feel better about themselves.
But I already feel better about myself. I’ve spent a lot of time alone and when you’re alone, there is nothing to do but mold yourself into who you want to be. It’s a never-ending process, but I am at a good spot right now.
And now that that’s done, I am looking for people to surround myself with.
But that then just comes off  conceited.

I don’t know, I am put too much thought into this late at night. It makes me weird and emotional. It’s almost as if I am a girl or something. Ugh.


2 thoughts on ““We were the people that we wanted to know.”

  1. It is coincidence or just straight up numerous that I am struggling with the same thing… well its similiar in some ways… My problem is, though, that I know all these people that are behind me in my way of thinking and I want more.. but there I go being conceited.. I just want what best and It sounds like you do too.. love ya babe, don’t change <3

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