We are Santa’s Elves.

Okay, I don’t really know what to write about this one, but I had someone comment on one of my other posts that they were looking forward to this one.
I read it and though “Uh, I wasn’t planning on doing one. Dammit.”
You guys are all so lucky that I like you.

So, I moved to California on the 4th of December and I got a temporary job on the 8th as one of Santa’s elves at a place called Santa’s Wonderland in Irvine, CA. Basically what I did was give tours of an activity center.

The reason I didn’t really feel like writing this post is the fact that I honestly do not have many nice things to say so I don’t really know how to start. So I will start with the name.
Okay, the first problem with dressing up as an elf every morning and going to work is the people who see you on the way to work. They will actually ask “Why are you dressed like that?”
Really guys? It’s not like I am walking around in May wearing this outfit.
Then they will ask where I work or say something stupid like “Off to the Mall sweetheart?”……Elf Costume
But then when I say “I work at Santa’s Wonderland”, I sound like one of those stupid people who are trying to be funny. It’s the equivalent of them asking me “Where do you work?” and me saying “THE NORTH POLE, OF COURSE!” Like I think I am an actual elf.
I am not that guy.

I was actually a bit excited to be an elf, because I am a pretty fun person. If I am being completely honest, I saw the movie “Elf” and I can be just as excited/fun as Will Ferrell in that movie. Plus I love kids. Not in a creepy way, in a I’m a woman way. I mean, I used to be a nanny. I’m cliché.

Anyways, I was super excited when I was first hired that I was going to get to live out this small “fantasy”.
Being an elf was honestly one of the most physically hard jobs that I have done. I know that sounds a little laughable, but giving tours for 8 hours around a decorated warehouse with hard concrete floors is hard on your back. Picking up kids to put them on a fake reindeer so they can have their picture taken is tolling and being required to squat every time you talk to a child really hurts your ankles and thighs.
Maybe I am just pampered with previous my office jobs.

Giving tours really is like giving sales. I was told that because I was an elf I was to be focused on the kids. They very directly told me that I was supposed to pretty much ignore the parents and focus on the kids.
The problem I have with that is that the children are not the ones that paid $25 per person to get in the door and the kids are not the ones that are going on the internet writing horrible and deserved reviews.

Here is my problem with jobs like this, I am not one of those people who can be a bad employee. They hired a lot of high school students, so I was a bit different as a worker. I am all about innovation, improving and efficiency. Which I am never working for people who value that.

So, I was on a team of high schooler elves working in a poor decorated and over expensive warehouse under unprepared management and a grumpy Santa who had a lazy eye. Also, it was so full of violations it was ridiculous.
BUT! I was an excellent elf. I was super fun with the kids and I was actually pretty clever given what I was working with. Plus, I brought my own glitter and I was kinda cute in the elf costume. It wasn’t like it was super flattering, but I think I was still pretty cute.
Anyways, just to brag about my lying skills, when kids said that I was a fake elf because I was so tall I thought up a lie and I thought it up quick (Heh). I told them that the North Pole is at the top of the world and there was more gravity to weigh us down and since Santa brought us to California we are taller.

Then I told them that the crappy fake Christmas tree “maze” was where we grow our magical Christmas trees up at the North Pole. I love that part.
And when I took them to check if they were on the Naughty or Nice list, I would ask them how many turtles they own. That is definitely a requirement for being on the nice list.
I also love the cookie decorating part and face painting. ALSO! I know all the words to pretty much every Christmas song and I actually like Christmas songs and would sing as I walked through the warehouse.
Plus, I am good with names.

Anyways, being an elf really wasn’t that fun. Also, Santa’s real name is Dan. I’m sorry.


3 thoughts on “We are Santa’s Elves.

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