I don’t know how to act.

So, today was my first day of my new seasonal job(I moved to California last Tuesday). And as I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep tonight I realized something; I said a lot of really weird things today.
Every 6 months or so, I start to get feed back from people very close to me saying that I should change some of my social habits. This of course sends me into a worrying state about my personality and the way I act around people.

Now, my mother keeps telling me that I have been through a lot these last few weeks (breaking up with my boyfriend, quitting my job, moving to California and away from the place I grew up. No B D). She says that because I have had so many changes, now is not the time in my life where I should be worrying about what my psychological problems.
As if I could just suddenly stop worrying.

Well, I have moved to a new state. Which means people act a lot differently and have a completely different social environment and set of expectations than they did in Las Vegas.
It is a bit weird to think that there is such a huge difference in culture just from changing states, but there is. Example: Southern people or people from Utah.

So, I really don’t know how people act here in California and now looking back on my day, I said some really weird things.
Of course I know why I said those things, but it is not like I can go back and explain to everyone why I said them. There is no commentary option for real life. Plus, no one watches commentary anyways.

But what this leaves me thinking is that maybe I am one of THOSE people. Those really weird people who say oddball things out of nowhere.
I mean, I’d like to think that I am one of those weird people who say weird things because they are just so smart they can’t help but say weird things. But I am pretty sure I am not one of those super smart people. I think I am just someone who says weird things because they are a weird person.
Maybe I just don’t know how to act. I just don’t know.

Anyways, interacting with other people is stressful. Everything is kinda stressful right now. I find that when I am stressed, worried or focusing really hard, I clench my jaw without noticing. I am now at the point where my teeth are hurting from being pressed together so hard.
I don’t really know what to do about that or about my weird social practices.

At least I am cool on the internet, right?


3 thoughts on “I don’t know how to act.

  1. yes ur cool on the internet :) for sure. I love reading ur posts! I’m born and raised in cali and I kno we r different here…Im just not sure how. I guess I can’t really see it but I hear ppl from other states mention it. I kno my sis in law frm texas is still trying to get adjusted. anyways, welcome to California!! :) and just so u kno…ur not the only one who says weird stuff. I’ve said weird things too. But here in cali we welcome weirdness. Just go to LA…ull see ;)

  2. Hey you’re plenty cool here. I think that some people are just the way they are and that’s in no way a bad thing. It’s just other people who have nothing better to do with their lives that go on talking about other people in negative ways. Some people would probably find your ‘weird’ comments as the best things ever – just got to hang out with the right people (those are are to find – I know).

    About interacting with other people, umm, keep at it. It might be a bit tough at first but it’s one of these things that, the more you do it the more it keeps getting better naturally.

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