Bosses are so freaking funny.

Everyone has a boss. Even if they are unemployed, everyone has to answer to someone. It’s unfortunate, but it is what it is.

I’m employed. I have a job. They say that it is full-time, because I work 40 hours, but somehow I never want to admit that it is full-time.
I also happen to have the type of job security where you know that you will not be fired. They have had so many bad employees in my position and I have made so many of their protocols more effective. Plus I am pretty good with computers, which is important in any situation. Anyways, it would just be silly to fire me.
Now, when I tell people about my job security, they say I am so lucky that I do not have to worry about losing my job. I think it is great too, but at the same time it’s a high paying job to where it is really going to be hard to find another job like this. I do love my job though and I happen to need it.

I have a boss and I have a very nice relationship with him. That relationship is platonic, just so no one’s mind goes skipping about. We banter. His name is Bruce. His middle name is Lee, but he is 67 meaning he was born way before Bruce Lee was an actor. Still is kinda cool.

Anyways, Bruce thinks he is really funny. Last night right before I left, he walked over to my desk and we had this wonderful conversation:

Bruce: How are you doing?
Me: Fine. How are you?
Bruce: You know I could fire you at any time.
Me: You’re not gonna fire me Bruce.
Bruce: How do you know? I could fire you.
Me: You could, but you won’t.
Bruce: You are just about two mistakes away from being fired, Missy. In fact, everyone who works here is.  They are all about to be fired.
Me: Okay, fire us.
Bruce: I’ve fired myself before.
Me: Bruce, that’s called retiring when you fire yourself. It’s more of a gift than a punishment.
Bruce: I just want you to remember to watch your step. I am not a patient man.

Now, when I first started working here, these types of conversations would send me into a paranoia/anxiety attack about how I would have to move in with my parents if I lost my job, but now I understand that Bruce thinks he is super funny.

This morning he walked over to my desk and said this:

Bruce: Are you a party girl Corrie?
Me: What? No. I never go to parties.
Bruce: I guess what I am asking is, what do you do at night? After you leave here, do you do anything? Do you have a life at all?
Me: Of course not Bruce. I live to serve you.
Bruce: Then do it better!

And that is a little more insight into how my daily life goes. Yeah.


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