Being Noble and Other Fallacies

I remember when I was 13 and my father sat me down to have a talk with me about my future and what I wanted to do with my life. In the middle of the lecture I told him I wanted to play Ariel at Disneyland. He was not amused. He still isn’t.

This morning a guy asked me online what I wanted to do with my life and what my dreams are. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, so the question wasn’t one I was fully equipped to answer. Choosing a life goal is something that can’t be done, in my opinion.

When I was 8 I wanted to be a singer.
When I was 12 I wanted to be a teacher with red hair like my mother.
A year ago I wanted to be a Web Marketing Consultant.
10 months ago I wanted to be a Cake Decorator.
7 months ago I wanted to be a Writer.
5 months ago I wanted to be a School Counselor.
3 months ago I wanted to be a Spanish Teacher.
Today, I’m not sure any of these will fit in with where I want my life to go today.

So how do I answer the question of what you want to do with my life?

I could only tell him what I know today. This is what I said:

I want to live in England and ride in a hot air balloon before I die. I want to genuinely smile once everyday even if the rest of my days are filled with pain or sorrow. I want to be someone who makes other people feel good just by being around them.
If I died today, I would want to be remembered fondly by at least one person. If I could raise one child to be happy and an improvement on me, I would feel accomplished.

When I told him this, he replied with that I was “being very noble”. I’m not gonna lie, I was offended at this response.  In my mind, noble people always seem to be martyrs. Even though this by definition isn’t correct, that’s the association my mind makes. I’m not martyring myself in any way.  In fact, I’m not sure how saying your life wants could make you a martyr or noble. In fact, stating wants is always a thing of selfishness.

As I have mentioned previously, I’m not well versed on the subject. I’m not noble, this is just all I have figured out that I want in life. I find it best to have simple goals because when you get too detailed, you get too improbable.

I can’t make goals for love in life other than to give it, because people have their own freewill and I can’t make goals for other people. I also can’t strive for happiness, because I feel happiness is a daily decision not a life long one. The most improbable thing I want in life would be a child, because even though there are ways to have one by yourself, I don’t want that. So I would need another person, and again I can’t make plans for other people.

Anyways, whether my wants are noble or just plain stupid, they are what they are and only I can achieve them. At least I got the red hair down though.


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