A couple of weeks ago my sister asked me if I was a pessimist, I might have mentioned this before, but the question was really shocking. At first I got worried that maybe I was a pessimist. That maybe I did look at the world from a negative view. But I have realized that for the things I have gone through in my life, I have a strangely positive outlook and a weird trust in people who I really shouldn’t have.
I only have one ex boyfriend. I’m very lucky to have only accumulated one ex boyfriend in my life so far. And before he was my boyfriend, he was a kinda friend for 3 years. We were actually pretty close, he just wasn’t nice to me.
When I was 16 years old and completely in love with him, I was devoted to the idea that he would HAVE to love me eventually because I just cared about him so much. That somehow my love for him would make him love me back.
The older I get and the more I experience life, I realized that this isn’t true at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
Last night one of my best friends and I went to a midnight showing of a new Romantic Comedy. It was on her list of things to do before her mission, but she is leaving before Harry Potter comes out, so we just chose a movie and went for it.
This movie was HILARIOUS and I completely enjoyed it….until the end. Does the ending kill the whole movie? I can’t tell with this one because it was just so funny.
In the end of this movie, the one guy who was the nicest and cared most for the girl was turned down and the girl went with the guy who was a total jerk to her the whole movie. And you were supposed to be hoping she was going to end up with the jerk, but some where along the lines I switched to the guy who actually cared for her, who didn’t hurt her and who was there when she was down.
The book Sense and Sensibility is not exactly what everyone would think after reading Pride and Prejudice. In Pride and Prejudice, everyone ends up with the person they wanted to, in a sense. But not Sense and Sensibility. In Sense and Sensibility, there are two sisters and one of the sisters is very emotional, fun and impulsive. And she meets her “soul mate”. Someone who is completely perfect for her, but he has to go away for a while. When he comes back he is engaged and then married. And for most of the book you get no explanation as to why this happened.
Well finally he sends a letter to his loves sister explaining why things happened the way they did. I cried when I read it. In the letter he explains that he loves the woman’s sister and not his wife, but was forced into the marriage. They never end up together.
Recently I was rejected, as you may well know. I have always aimed high when it comes to guys I want. This guy was by the world’s standards “too good for me”. I knew what I was doing. Despite the fact that almost everyone was foreseeing my rejection and wondering if I was on crack for thinking he might want to be with me, I knew what I was doing. I knew it was a long shot, but I took it.
You see, I believe in magic. I believe in Happy Endings and Fairy Tales. And part of me keeps looking and searching for the time when the guy does choose the unlikely girl. Or when the girl does ditch the main character for the one that cares for her more.
I keeping searching for these things, optimistically waiting for one of them to happen to me. But chances are they won’t. Because the reality of things is, the prince and princess got a divorce instead of happily ever after. At the end of the yellow brick road there is no Emerald City.
But I refuse to believe it, because that’s just not working for me. And I’m in the market to buy some magic beans if anyone knows where I can score some.