There are words for this.

I’m working on a theory, and it is a theory that can only be worked on in this moment. The theory is this: After having the best night of your life, Life turns around and works extra hard the next morning to bring you back down.
This is what I imagine having a One Night Stand is like. Everything was beautiful last night. EVERYTHING! Last night was filled with so much excitement and so much splendor. I was literally high. I didn’t take drugs and I didn’t drink, but I was high. Everything was beautiful.
This morning was an unexpected crash and burn. Worse than Pearl Harbor.

First off, you are tired from the night before. That much happiness is tiring and it causes you to not sleep. I woke up to a text from my sister once again asking me why I didn’t take one of her sleeping pills. I’m sorry Blood Relation, I was high on life last night. You can’t sleep during that. You lay in bed and fantasize about things that keep your high going. You are too good for dreams. And you don’t need them in that moment.

Now there is something in my family that I would like to call “Heat Seeking Gaze”. Let me elaborate.
You can hear Heat Seeking Gaze and you can also feel it through the wall. It’s easily detectable and extremely hard to maneuver around. Best thing you can do is just prepare yourself for it.
What is it? Occasionally one person in my family will get in a mood where they just go from one person to the next, looking for flaws and starting fights with them about it. I call it Heat Seeking Gaze because I feel like they are searching through the house for a sign of life that they can attack. I feel their gaze through my closed-door, waiting for me to emerge, in a manner much like a vulture. If I don’t emerge quick enough, they will come get me. Impatience is key.
There are three ways that Heat Seeking Gaze is settled.

  1. They pick at every single person until they finally get all their anger out. I thought I would mention this one first because it is so rare.
  2. Even more rare, they get over what they were mad about and apologize. Then they make us all an “I’m Sorry” cake. This has never happened to me, but I like to keep optimistic.
  3. Not so rare, they will run out of ammunition on people and retreat to like their room to either create more or to calm down. The happens a lot, I can’t say it’s a good thing, because even after the War, you gotta deal with the damage.
  4. This is the most common end to Heat Seeking Gaze. One person will rise to the occasion, much to the Seekers delight, and both of them will duel it out. That sounds really epic, but it’s mostly just screaming.

Sunday is a great day for Heat Seeking in my family. My mother had Heat Seeking Gaze this morning. I knew she had something on me, it was a matter of time. If I stayed in bed, she would have come and got me about over sleeping and staying out too late. If I left, she would get me about staying out too late or cleaning. It was a matter of time.

So how is Life trying to bring me back to reality? My leg hurts from dancing. I have to do the dishes. I’m not so tired anymore, but I could relapse. My Goggles are off and everything is not beautiful.

The Redemption? I’m going to see everyone that made last night beautiful later on and it puts a smile on my face. Will it still be as beautiful as last night when I see them? Probably not, but now we have a great memory together. I’M KEEPING THAT FOREVER!

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