I wish the Fore Fathers had been more specific

So I’m having a little trouble right now or each week. It’s a reaccuring problem. Obviously. What is this problem? I miss someone each weekend. But I honestly don’t feel like I have the right to miss this person at all.
So what is my feelings for this person? They are very special. So very special that I really don’t even know what it is. The more I think about it, the more I have no clue what I feel for this person.

The problem is, I HAVE NO RIGHTS TO THIS PERSON! There are days when I don’t want to even call this person my friend. Why? It’s just that complicated. Yet, I’m this person’s biggest fan. And I know they have flaws, thanks. I’m well aware. It’s not that I’m oblivious to the flaws, it’s just the positives strike me so much, that the flaws are almost non-existent. Which makes me sound creepy. Dangit.

I usually see this person around the beginning of the week. Well by the end of the week, I miss them. I want to talk to them and stand next to them. Just plain be around them. Like my energy levels of them have dropped.

It hurts just to wake up whenever you’re wearing in thin – Adam Young

Sorry, that’s just a perfect description of how I feel at the end of the week. I can’t get this person out of my mind. I miss them.

But where do I get off missing this person? We haven’t known each other for very long. We don’t hang out. We are around each other alot though, but still. It’s not like we are super tight to where it would be okay for me to miss this person. Or even that this person was missing me. Cause I have no freaking clue if they are. I have no freaking clue what this person is thinking. This person is insane…

So why didn’t I just call or text this person? Uhm, I’m not exactly sure. This person always answers me. They even gave me the go ahead to call when I want to talk. Hmm, so why didn’t I just call or text this person?
I’m sure I had a good excuse at the time when I was thinking about it, but now I don’t really remember what it was. So it wasn’t as good of an excuse as I thought it was at the time.

So instead of actually fixing this missing problem, I called my best friend to talk to me and distract me. This worked for a couple of hours and here I am. Thinking about how much I miss this person again. I should have called.

If none of this is making any sense, if you are wondering what the heck I am talking about, the truth is I have no freaking clue. Your take on what the heck is going on in my life is as good as mine. I think I’m losing though.


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