It’s 2 in the Morning

SO! With that said, keep in mind that anything written here is written under the influences of sleep depravity and early morning notions. Nothing good is ever really thought up in the early morning. Did early morning cram sessions ever REALLY make one feel confident for the midterm? Cause all I felt was exhaustion.

So what’s on my mind at 2 in the morning? Well lots of things. Like for one, tonight my friend said that I am a talker and not a listener. Well this is interesting, because I know I do my fair share of talking, or even more than my fair share. But I have also always felt that I am a good listener. I felt I was a good conversationalist in general. Meaning I did equal amounts of talking and listening.
But lately I just feel I have so  much to say. Maybe I’m just avoiding thinking about something, cause I don’t really think I have had a lot of really cool experiences lately to where I should be talking about them all the time. I just hope I’m not turning into one of those people who have an opinion about everything.

Another thing that is on my mind is Independence. My mother always taught me that I should be one of those girls who doesn’t need a man to complete them. That I should have my own goals that I am working on just in case I never get married. I understand that.
But one thing I have noticed lately, is that if I am not thinking about guys, my life is kinda boring. Everything just seems the same and kinda pointless. Another problem I have with trying to be independent without guys is the fact that that makes me feel like I shouldn’t care about being with a guy. Well I don’t think I will ever be able to do that. I want to be with someone. Now does that mean I can’t function without a guy? No, but it does mean that I would like to function with a guy.

I just realized that probably none of this makes sense and I am so tired that I have no clue what I am writing anymore. If I had a point to posting this, I really honestly think I got distracted or I am just so tired that I forgot. So I will end this post and go to sleep. I don’t want to take out my contacts though. That just seems like alot of effort I’m not willing to go through right now. Happy Sunday.


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