Fortune Cookies

Last night was my younger brother’s birthday. He turned 12. Family tradition is that on your birthday, we eat dinner wherever you want. He wanted Panda Express. We ate it at home.

My favourite part of Chinese/Oriental food is the fortune cookies, OBVIOUSLY! I always grab like 3 just for myself, read the fortunes and give away the cookies. Then I keep the fortunes and occasionally I will find someone who needs that particular fortune, so I will go home and get it and the next time I see them, I will give it to them…..Yeah, I’m weird.

Anyways, so this morning I came downstairs and noticed that there were two extra fortune cookies. I put them in my pocket and I just barely found them. They went a little something like this.

Use your finest talents


Lend Hand To One Less Fortunate Than Yourself

Uh, neither of those are fortunes, that’s advice right there. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I REALLY got a fortune in my cookie. It’s been awhile now. It’s like Chinese restaurants ran out of things that can happen to people, so they just thought they would add quotes/advice in there. Someone less fortunate than me? What does that mean? Someone who’s cookie was empty? And what’s with the lucky numbers? Are those going to win me the lottery? Hmm. I really just don’t understand what’s going on right now.
My best friend informed me that you are supposed to add the words “in bed” to the end of each fortune so you can understand them more. Alright.

Use your finest talents in bed.

YEAH! That’s what’s up. It’s all coming clear for me right now. Get some. I can dig that.

Lend Hand To One Less Fortunate Than Yourself in bed.

……..Wow, no comment.


3 thoughts on “Fortune Cookies

  1. Umm, well, I guess I would be the less fortunate. I actually got a fortune cookie not long ago with no fortune in it all! I mean, is that a “SIGN” or what?? I figure that’s what would happen to Charlie Brown if he went to eat Chinese!
    p.s. I’ll have to remember the idea to add “in bed” to the end. Could make fortune cookies much more interesting…if I actually get a fortune in my cookie!

    1. Yeah, I’ve had that happen to me too. That’s why I brought it up. I love Charlie Brown though, I can’t really think of anyone who doesn’t.
      I also once got one that had two fortunes in it. Did it blow my mind? Yeah, it really did.
      And I always laugh at the “in bed” thing. Most of the time it doesn’t make sense, which is freaking awesome.

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