I’m either a 70 or 1 year old.

I feel like I’ve neglected my blog. The fact that I didn’t check it for 2 days and haven’t posted in about 3 is very troubling. Somehow during my absence I gained my first subscriber (a guy named Nate, who I have had no previous encounters with but will pretend we are best friends).

So Where Have I been?

Does anyone remember watching movies as a child and there was always that one person who no one wanted on their team because they FAILED at every sport/physical activity out there?
That was me. Don’t believe me? I was kicked off the soccer team when I was 8, because I was horrible at it. Kicked off the kids team. My mother was pissed. Also I failed P.E. when I was in middle school. How do you fail P.E.? When you’re graded on your performance and improvement, you fail. Also, I think the fact that I broke a lot of equipment left the teacher biased.
What’s that you’re thinking? Practice and you will improve? Not if you talked to the Tennis Coach I once had the pleasure of taking one lesson with. At the end of the lesson he approached me and said “I actually think you are getting worse.”

I’m incapable of playing sports or doing anything athletic. The only sport I find worth my time is bowling. I bowl a 45 almost every time and I’m okay with that. The best thing about bowling is, the ball is already 5 million pounds, so you can’t really break anything and you just throw it. And if it’s wrong, it’s a gutter. You have 19 other tries to get it right. Bowling is amazing.

But I’m off topic. So, I’ve avoided really doing any physical activity for a while now. (No, I don’t just laze about. I jog, which is brainless and requires no talent which I have)
I have found when you avoid certain things for a long time, you start wondering if you really are as bad as you think. Or maybe only I think this. It happens the same with my allergies.

ANYWAYS! So Monday my ward decided to have an activity where we all went to Crystal Palace Skating Center. A little history, when I was a little girl I ALWAYS wanted to go there. I would ask my mother and she would say they didn’t have enough money. But I dreamed and dreamed of going. Never happened.
So we go to Crystal Palace and I get some skates, never skated before. No bd. So I go out on these roller skates and fall to my heart’s content. Making a complete fool of myself, but I’m fine either way. When I finally felt comfortable enough to skate without holding onto the wall and just holding hands with my best friend, I feel accomplished. SURPRISE! I fall and my leg goes one way but my foot goes another. A loud snap is heard and I’m left on the skating floor in pain.

Imagine my embarrassment as I sat on the skating floor and 50 people came to crowd around me and watch me in my agony. For the record, asking someone if they are alright when they are lying on the floor with a grimace on their face, DOESN’T HELP! I must have been asked 1750815380158031 times and I don’t think I ever answered once. And maybe it’s just my social standing, but the fact that about 30 people from my Single’s Ward were there and only one person helped me….well that just hurts. I’m just super glad certain people didn’t see me in my moment of glory on the floor, although I do wonder if they did see me, would they be one of the on lookers or the second person to help me.

Needless to say, my ankle is broken. But I couldn’t even break it well enough to get a cast, which is a fail on my part. So instead, I have a boot. And crutches. For the next 6 weeks. Also, I get this weird look from people when I say I broke my ankle roller skating. Like “Um, did she not realize she is not 10 years old?” Actually I didn’t. Thanks. Rubbish.

I’ve set up camp on the downstairs couch and have spent the last 2 days playing The Sims. Why? Because if I can’t go out and live my life, I shall make up pretend people and live vicariously through them. Also I can’t get up the stairs. I’m realizing now that my arm muscle is non-existent.

My independence is shot. This morning I had to crawl up the stairs so my sister could give me a bath (I hadn’t showered in 2 days.) and then help me get dressed. I have to wait for someone to make me food, which happens at about 4 in the afternoon. I had to have help getting dressed.
Now this is only my second day of immobility, but I still feel like crap at the fact that I’m completely helpless and dependant on those around me. Not to mention, my best friend blames herself for the accident, which makes no freaking sense in my mind. I just got off the phone with one of my clients and I had to wonder “Could he tell I’m on majour pain killers?”. And also, I have trouble sleeping on the couch cause I end up staring at the door waiting for a psycho killer to come in and kill me slowly. Ugh.

How’s your week going?

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