When I grow up I want to be an Atomic Bomb.

Supporting Character

So, I am a big believer in not comparing yourself to other people. That is huge.
Especially when it comes to your looks or things that could dramatically decrease your self-esteem.
However, I am not oblivious or immune. Other people do exist and their lives do cross paths with yours, which makes it hard to not take a look at what is happening there and what you are seeing yourself.

A few weeks ago I went out to dinner with someone who I have not seen in a while and this person was telling me all about their relationships with so many different people and the things that are going on in their life.
I could not help but think “Wow, none of that ever happens to me.”

~Let’s pause right here real quick, I am not writing this because I am unhappy. I am actually very happy with myself and the relationships I do have.~

When she was talking about all these different situations I realized that I had none of those types of people or situations in my life.

Fast forward to today where this has been on my mind a lot. Today I have not seen or really talked to anyone all day besides a few texts that I have sent.
I have mentioned before that for the most part I live alone and outside of work I spend a good amount of my time alone.
But I am happy. I am excited about my day today and the things I have accomplished. I am also happy with my life even though it is alone for the most part.
There are many people who love me and I love them and I do many things, not important things, but still many fun and good things.

So, as I was sitting here trying to think over how this situation plays together and what this means. I ended up at the same conclusion that I have before in the past, although maybe not as direct.
What if…I am just a supporting character?
If life is one huge story being written and I don’t feel that I am the main character of the story and the things I do really impact the story as of yet, maybe I am just a supporting character.

The person who comes and trains/teaches the main character. Or the quirky coworker who changes her hair every few weeks. Or maybe the girl at church who is always there trying to be involved, sometimes too much.
The person that silently supports the character or adds a little detail to the story, but is there for moral support.

I once gave a lesson about how there is strength in being a support to your family and to people who are doing hard things.
That just because it isn’t about you does not mean that you do not play a role.

So, when someone texting me how I was doing today, I told them I was having a great day! I worked out this morning. I went to target and bought yogurt and snap peas. I swept my bedroom and did some laundry. And I painted my nails red.
What a great day!
Not a relevant day, but a great day!

Something that has been on my mind a lot has been how to live an ordinary life and maybe part of that is being a supporting character to all the people around you.
Being that one important moment and then afterwards you do other things until you have your next important moment, either by yourself or with others.
I’m trying to learn to live this ordinary life that I have and I am definitely working to be happy with it.
And that’s all I wanted to say.

(Do you realize? by The Flaming Lips. You can listen to it here if you can’t see the player.)

So, this is a post that I have been wanting to write for a while and I actually have two other things that I learned that I want to post about as well.
Ideally I would have written this post closer to the beginning of the year, but I get busy and distracted when it comes to posting on here.

I wanted to write on here the most important things that I learned, because these were life changing things and I am so much happier because of them.
Now, I am not the happiest person in the entire world. Or even a quarter of that, but I am happier enough to know that there was a huge burden lifted off my shoulders by these three realizations and I am much more relaxed.

Recently though a person who has seen me go through all of these realizations told me to be careful using them as advice, because I worked hard to come to this state and to these mindsets. If I just tell people what I have learned, they might try to apply them without the work and it could backfire. This person was worried about people resenting me.

So, I would like to preface by saying this is not advice. I am more writing my newly found knowledge and if someone happens to read it, then great.
I would also like to mention some of the struggle that I went through to get to this particular information and I would like to do that using song.

This song does have a cuss word that is mentioned twice in it, so keep that in mind if you are going to listen to it.
The reason that I bring up this song is that it is the song I would listen to when I was going through this ordeal. I would close my eyes and pretend he was singing to comfort me specifically and his words did fit my situation exactly.
The whole time I wished that I had someone to say the things he says to me, but I didn’t, so I just listened to this song.


(Something To Do With My Hands by Her Space Holiday. You can listen to it here if you don’t see the player.)

I almost did not make it through 2014 and it was my hardest year. This bled into the first part of 2015.
I just was not winning that year and every attempt I seemed to make to get it better just made it worse. I was in a financial hole that just seemed to get deeper.
But most importantly the line in the song where he says:

Your job is kill you faster than a cancer could.

I had uprooted my life for my job and was working 12 hour days to start a new branch for them. But the entire time they were not my biggest fan. They were happy to have my expertise and to accept my hard work, but they just did not like me.
And so I was in this constant cycle of trying to do my best and improve my life and use this passion I had for my job, but I would just then end up empty-handed and resentful.
Looking back I accomplished a lot and I am proud of what I did, but if I were to describe that time with just a few words they would be: Screaming, Crying and Tired.

Well, when my current job recruited me and I moved out to Northern California, I was a little surprised at how easy it was to get out of this situation that I had felt trapped in.
But things were just going okay and it wasn’t until I had my next big anxiety filled “crisis” and someone said to me:

Yeah, I remember when I was younger and things like that used to worry me too.

They went on to explain that,  because I am young and not as experienced with the world, some things end up seeming like they are a bigger deal than they really are.
Now, this was said to me right after I backed into another car while I was not driving my own car.
And as I watched the situation unfold over the next little bit I noticed that this person was right.
Did my insurance go up? Yes, but other than that there was no real problem.

After this happened I tried to sit and think about some of the most anxiety filled situations I have been in and how they have effected me now.
I found that almost all of them did not matter at all now.
And I thought most recently about all of the things that happened in 2014 and the beginning of 2015 and what they had to do with what was happening now.
They obviously influenced my present, because I would not be where I am if they had not, but in terms of the anxiety and the fears that I had, it is all okay now.

So, after all that build up, the first most important thing that I learned in 2015 was that no matter what happens, everything will be okay.
I have always known that God has a plan, but I do not believe I was the best at letting go and letting him handle things until I had that conversation and until this year.
But everything that has happened in my life so far, and there has been some really unhappy things, has all worked out okay.

With that being said, I am letting go of all of my anxieties and worries about the future or things that have happened, because I can rest assured that things will work out.
Now, old habits do die-hard. I am not the most stress-free, non-worrier. But I am trying.

It has helped though with some of my fears about the worst things that could happen.
I was never really afraid of death, but I was afraid of being wrongfully convicted of something and going to prison.
But if it were to happen, I’m sure it would end up okay as well.
Like George Bluth.

Fiery Explosion

 

Anyways, the first most important thing I learned in 2015 was that everything works out given time and everything is okay.


(Float On by Modest Mouse. You can listen to it here if you don’t see the player.)

The hole in my brain.

So, this morning I was laying in bed after my alarm clock rang just thinking. I do this a lot. It’s one of the main reasons it takes so long for me to get ready in the mornings.
There is just so much to think about when you are putting off starting the day.

Today I was thinking about how I really needed to get ready, because I had a 7:45 dentist appointment for a root canal.
I had a piece of one of my teeth break off and it was too close to the nerve for them to be able to just fill it. Also, I found out that I have really bad teeth due to genetics. So, even though I floss, rinse and brush everyday, it really does not matter.

That is besides the point. I was laying in bed thinking about this dentist appointment and how I had a co-pay of $250.
It was kind of striking me as odd how adult it was for me to be actually paying for my own root canal. Not that I was feeling someone else should be paying for it, but that I was actually putting myself willingly into this situation and paying to be in that situation.
I mean, I have heard before that a root canal is the most painful thing that can happen to you if you do not have anesthesia. I have seen movies where they are torturing someone and they do a root canal to torture someone.
And I was paying for it.

Then I was thinking about how I was actually paying for someone to drill into a portion of my head.
So, this was the closest thing I would ever get (hopefully) to paying for my own lobotomy.
How did they even come up with this procedure? I mean, I am glad that they have it, but how did they decide “This tooth is bad, we should drill into it and pull out the nerves.”
And then someone else was like “I love that idea!”

They have really gotten good at it too.
Which sounds like a weird thing to say, but I remember when I was younger and you could eat a few hours afterwards and they did it all with mirrors and how things looked.
Today I could eat immediately after they did the root canal and he used a microscope and when he was done he took a quick x-ray to make sure that everything was cleared out.
He just drilled into my face so skillfully.

Anyways, it was just a weird thought process that I had about my root canal.
And I’ve never done drugs.

Dentists 01292016

(The song is I’m Afraid There is a Hole in My Brain by PlayRadioPlay!. You can listen to it here if you can’t see the player.)

Today in Relief Society we had a lesson on the Atonement, which is always my favorite.
And the teacher of the lesson wanted to make two specific points in her lesson, the first being that the atonement was personal and the second how it effects those who struggle with mental illnesses. She was talking about Elder Holland’s talk Like a Broken Vessel, which everyone should read.
Both of these subjects are very close to my heart and so obviously I had somethings that I wanted to contribute.
But though I kept raising my hand, she was not seeing me or calling on me. I am an imperfect person and so I was getting really annoyed.
And I hate that! I hate when I get annoyed or angry at church, because that is the opposite of what I am there for.
So I had to take a few seconds to text my sister so I could calm down. I am not suggesting that you should text in church, but in this particular case texting my sister about the situation did help me calm down.

Well, eventually she did call on me, but as I started talking I started crying. And a deep crying where it makes what you are saying not sound like words.
I would like to mention that this is not something that happens to me often, even when I am bearing my testimony.
So, I had to stop talking, because no one came to church to hear my blubbering.
But afterwards when I told my sister that I eventually did get to share, but I started crying (which she was surprised about as well), she asked me if I was able to share what I was wanting to share before I had to stop.
And the truth is I wasn’t able to.
I want to now and I will probably say more than I wanted to earlier since I have an open platform.

Mental illness and the atonement is a subject dear to my heart because I have severe depression.
I have had it since I was 14 years old and it has been a part of my daily life for the past 10 years.
This isn’t something that I normally tell people and even worry about telling people, because I have had people treat me differently when they found out. I have also had people treat me as if I was just being dramatic or that I just needed to stop focusing on myself so much when I told them I have depression.

Our society has gotten so much better about mental illness and there is so much more knowledge about it and the effects of it.
But there is also a lot of ignorance still from the population as a whole. And where there is not ignorance, there it is sometimes trivialized.
Depression is a difficult disorder to talk about because it can happen physically, but it can also be an occurrence in someone’s life due to circumstances.
Someone like me who has chronic depression, it is actual due to my body not producing enough serotonin. Meaning that I can control it as much as I can control not having good eyesight.
It also means that I can brush it off or square my shoulders and be positive as I can brush off the fact that I can’t see far away. Especially while driving.
Someone who is depressed due to their circumstances does have their serotonin levels drop, but chronic depression is actually where it is not producing or being receipted properly in the brain on a continual basis.
And a lot of times that means that I don’t even know why I am depressed. There is no reason. It just is.

I do take medication for this. I know how many people have negative feelings about people taking medication.
But continuing with my eyesight connection, it’s the same as how my glasses take my eyesight to what a regular person’s would be.
My medication doesn’t suddenly make me the happiest person in the world. (Though I am a pretty happy person) And it doesn’t make me feel like a different person than I was before.
It honestly just supplements that serotonin to where I have the same amount as the next person.
And just like the times when I somehow make it all the way out to my car in the morning without glasses and I have to think of what’s wrong, the same thing happens when I don’t take my medication. Although, unfortunately I cannot tell something is wrong until the next day when I have forgotten to take my medication.
But I can physically feel something being off when it is not there.

Why am I spending so much time explaining this?
Because the difficult thing about mental illnesses for most people is the fact that you can’t see there is something wrong.
Unlike when someone breaks their arm or unfortunately has cancer, there are physical signs that manifest that there is a problem happening internally.
But that doesn’t happen with mental illness.
In fact, I have never had someone come up to me and say “Corrie, you’re looking like you have a chemical imbalance upstairs. Are you feeling okay?”
Because there is no physical manifestation, it’s easy to forget that it’s out of someone’s control a lot of the time. And even I have been guilty of being insensitive because of that.
So, I do like to explain the physical side to it, because it illustrates just how real it is to someone who may not understand mental illness.
It’s not just all in our head, pun totally intended.

This brings me back to the Atonement.
Christ had to experience all things to get the full spectrum of the human experience. He literally had to endure everything so that it could be a complete Atonement and he could be a true Savior for his people.

“And he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12)

When we talk about him being our Savior and Redeemer, most of us think about him saving us from our sins. We think about him satisfying the demands of justice so that we can return and live with Heavenly Father.
He did do that and that was a major part of the Atonement, but there was also him saving us from the world.
What I mean by that is he descended below all things so that when we are in this mortal experience and lost in our afflictions, whether they are sins, physical, emotional, or mental, he is able to console us and save us from the world.

When I was younger, my mother every year for the first couple of years had to take my sister and I to get shots. Since we were so close in age it only made sense for us to get the shots together.
My older sister, who is coincidentally my best friend, has a very high tolerance for pain and no fear of doctors. I remember multiple times where she would get her shots and be totally un-phased.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, I have a low tolerance for pain and when I would get my shot, I would bawl my eyes out.
And every year, my sister who was fine and enjoying a lollipop after would start crying hysterically when she saw me in pain and crying. She was fine and happy, but my pain was unbearable to her and suddenly my mother had two crying children instead of one.

Christ is our Savior, but he is also our older Brother. And just like my sister would have taken the shots for me to prevent my pain, Christ went through the same afflictions as all of us so that he could not only understand our pain, but he could remove our pain as well.
Now, just as it was necessary for me to get my own shots, it is necessary for each of us pass through trials that were personally chosen as something that we can bear.
But Christ also personally bore that trial for each of us.

In Tad R. Callister’s book The Infinite Atonement, he talks about how many believe that each of our individual names went through the Savior’s mind as we atoned for our sufferings. That our perfect older Brother thought of each of us as he bore our sorrows.
Now, this is something that my mortal mind cannot logically grasp, but I also logically cannot see it happening any other way.

The Atonement was the ultimate act of love from a Father and older Brother and it had to cover mental illness just as it needed to cover every other human plight.
Because when I, on some of my darkest days, have wished that I could merge into the walls so that no one would ever have to look at me or think of me again, my older Brother and Redeemer had to know how to show me love through experience with that exact same thought.
And I know for a fact that he did, because I have felt the effects of it.

And that is what I wish I could have conveyed earlier in not so many words.

So, this is the first Saturday I have had in a while where there is nothing that I need to do.
My sister got married recently and I was travelling for work. That combination with my personality and I pretty much over stretched myself.

Today I have nothing to do! Not even shopping!
I am so excited about it.
I slept in til 10:30ish and I had pizza for breakfast. What is better than that?

But now I am watching the Food Network and it’s the Kids’ Baking Championship and I want some cake so badly.
There isn’t a real problem with cake, but I have been sitting here for almost an hour going back and forth on how to get this cake.

On the one hand I could go and buy some cake at the grocery store.
That’s always super easy and it will taste good.
But in the back of my head I know that any cake I bake would taste better than ones I might buy from the grocery store.

I have been baking a lot lately due to circumstances and it is the most I have baked since last year at Christmas time. (Here.)
I’m sure some of you may remember when I thought I wanted to be a cake decorator at 18 and took classes and I wasn’t the best at it.
I had to look through tons of photos to find just one cake that I baked at the time that I was learning, it turns out I could only find a silly cake I made for my boyfriend at the time.

Fish Cake 1 Fish Cake 2

Anyways, I haven’t had time to really bake since last Christmas, but I told my sister that I could make her wedding cake for her since she has Celiacs disease, so we said we would make it with rice krispies. But I forgot a lot of decorations I was going to use at my house when I drove down.
So, I just had to use some of the things I remembered and were handy. Like raspberries.

Wedding Cake 2Wedding Cake 1 Wedding Cake 3

So, then the next weekend I decided to use those decorations I forgot the next week for church.
And I broke down and learned cake bites (and that they are hard to decorate).

Cake BitesLeaf Cookies

So, I’ve been kind of on a post-Christmas baking thing and it’s all doing great.
Only got one bad review, which I guess has led me to feeling cocky, because I’m watching the Food Network thinking I need cake and I should make my own cause it would be better than the store’s.

I did end up buying it from the store and I am not that good at this, but I wanted to share the struggle that comes with my cockiness. Also, baking requires work and laying in bed requires none.
I want you to remember that.

I will have a salad for dinner, because I actually do miss salads and healthy food when I go on cake/fat days though.

Midnight Questions 

There are so many things I have wanted to post lately, but they all keep getting in the way of each other.

How? Because I will think of something I want to talk about on here, but not do it and then when I think of another thing I don’t post it because I still haven’t written the first post.

As I have learned in times past though, none of my fake rules apply to late night musings. 

In the middle of the night your mind goes to a place so rare and odd that your thoughts need to be recorded to preserve the…fake existentialism.

I am already feeling tonight that I am not wanting to sleep just yet, because I am not ready for the week to start.

So, I am dedicating myself that as I think of questions I have over the next while of laying in bed, I will write them down here until I am ready to sleep.

Here we go.

Did they disprove Oxyclean? Does it really work?

How does pain reliever work? Does it just drug your whole body or how does it know where it’s hurting?
How does the company that makes Top Ramen stay in business? Their product is 25 cents for the customer. 

Did they name the country Wales or the animal whales first? 

When people look at me, can they immediately tell I’m a girl or is it confusing for a second? 

Why isn’t there a California drought meter where you can see how much the rain is doing and how much you need? 

Why did they borrow water from a desert? Whose idea was that? 

Was desert or dessert named first? And why so close?

How do you know if you have big feet?

Does Top Ramen and Cup of Noodles have a huge rivalry? 

Is there a way to capitalize on diamonds raining on Jupiter? I don’t want to ruin it by selling it, but I’m just curious. 

How did they come up with pillows? 

What made them decide to put little popcorn puffs in the ceiling? 

I bought a Selfie Stick!

So, recently I decided to purchase myself a selfie stick and I was beyond excited about it. It just so happens that right after I did so, someone else received a selfie stick for Christmas and was not as happy as I was about it.

That person said that she does not take a lot of selfies and she is not very self-absorbed.
Okay, I go back and forth on this a lot, because yes a lot of people can be self-absorbed and taking selfies is just a manifestation of their conceit.
BUT! Selfies also can be a lot of fun. I personally love taking selfies and I have read a lot about how they can increase your self-esteem.

One of the reasons I got the selfie stick is that I think selfies are fun (I’m aware I am repeating myself). In fact, I love getting my picture taken in any facet, not just selfies.
But I live alone and no one follows me around taking my picture. So, I take selfies, but they never show my whole body, so I got the selfie stick.
I want to see myself. I want to document the clothes I wear and the funny places that I go. Without selfies there would be a whole chunk of my life where no pictures were taken of me and no one would know what I look like.
In a society that has so many cameras and for someone who enjoys having their photo taken as much as I do, that’s pretty sad.

Also, since the increase in taking selfies over the past couple of years, there have been numerous studies as to what is the purpose and the effects of people taking selfies and posting them online.
There have been studies done looking into whether it actually boosts your self-esteem, in the same way that a mirror can.
They have found that selfies can give insight into a person’s personality and also boost self-confidence, which is a pretty sharp turn from the usual thoughts that selfies are a bit narcissistic.
I have read quite a few studies about this and most recently I read this.
You may be wondering, did you really read some random person’s thesis on selfies? Yes, I did. I wanted to know.

The point is, I bought a selfie stick because I do find selfies empowering and they do boost your confidence. As I have become more and more comfortable with my body and my appearance, I am able to look at a selfie of my whole body and think “I look great!”
So, here are some selfies:

These are me when I had just received my selfie stick and I was sick. You can tell how much I cared about my looks in this pic.
IMG_4908
IMG_4909

This is me showing off my dirty room.

IMG_4947
And these are me excited that it’s Monday.

IMG_4963
IMG_4958
See how fun that was?

Sunday Thoughts

So, one of the things I wanted to start doing with my blog now that I have started it up again is post more. (Obviously)
But I also wanted to post more about the things that I am passionate about and one of those is religion. Previously I worried about being politically correct with what I posted on my blog and make it as neutral of those things as possible since I started this blog when I was out of my church and wrote some pretty harsh things. Then I came back and had to take back those things.
I just didn’t want to seem like I was super wishy-washy and I wasn’t fully comfortable with expressing my religion because I knew how uncomfortable that made some people.

I have changed a lot in the past 6 months and I am not saying that I stopped caring about whether I make people uncomfortable or not, but I have decided that I am going to be more open about what I believe.
I realized that people who spent a lot of time with me did not know my beliefs and I wasn’t even hiding them. I was never deliberately trying to not have people know my religion, it’s just I didn’t talk about it.
And when religious conversations came up, I walked away, because I hate confrontation.
Then something in my head clicked a few months ago.,..that’s not me.

I am a religious person. In fact, I am a very religious person and I am one of those passionate ones.
I’m one of those people who are excited about their religion and loves to talk about religion, mine and other people’s. And I’m someone who enjoys church and reading scriptures.
I love to talk about it, because I love talking.

I heard for the first time a quote that gets passed around a lot and it goes:

If we were to be arrested for being Christians, I wonder if there would be enough evidence to convict us. 

I am someone who would want to be arrested and I would want the evidence to be damning. In fact, I would probably turn myself in. I have this horrible habit of anytime there is a purse check or metal detector I end up telling them all the things I think might be questionable in my bag. I’m very cooperative, it drives my sister crazy.

Anyways, I started my blog again because I wanted to write again and have my thoughts out there again. (A lot of agains)
I also wanted to keep a record of who I am and I am not so good with journals. I can never seem to remember to keep up with them, but I always remember my blog.
This was never meant to become popular or be anyways late night reading. I post it out there, because it’s fun to know that people can relate to me and I do enjoy people knowing what I am thinking.
But I wrote this with the intention of writing my thoughts.

So, on Sundays I will write about spiritual things. Because I am one of those die-hard Christians, but particularly I’m a member of the Church or Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or Mormon. And we are pretty good in the die-hard section.
Anyways, just thought I would give a heads up before I really jumped into writing those things.
But I am excited beyond belief about this and you can’t see me smiling like crazy.

Here’s a cheap likeness :)

Three Day Weekends

So, am I the only one who feels like three-day weekends are just a little too long?
I know when I was younger and in school I thought three-day weekends were the best thing it the world.
But then I grew up and became super lame and decided to live alone. So, three-day weekends are just way too much time for me.

When you stay at home for too long, you end up doing things that are out of character for you. Like I finally joined Hulu when everyone knows Netflix is better.
And before anyone even tries to argue with me, Hulu has commercials.
I’ll take you a step further Hulu plays workout commercials.
What is this? Fit people binge watching? No. It would never work out.
And why do they play their own commercials? That means I would have to pay to see their commercials.
Why do they need to promote themselves when I already paid? What am I going to pay for it twice?

Do you see the amount of time I have had to think about this? I also ended up putting away my Christmas and Halloween clothes/decorations.
I also think my room makes me look like a crazy hoarder person since I never unpacked my suitcase and I have minimal furniture.

I was so bored this weekend that I went in to work today for 3 hours. Then I went to Costco, which anyone who has read this blog for more than two days knows that I am not a huge fan of Costco.

The point is, I am sure that you have seen this particular quote floating around the interwebs:

DontGrowUp

I would like to validate this quote.

Sometimes you grow and you become super good at your job and then you get asked to start a new branch for your work.
You move to another state to start that branch and you hate it so much.
Then you get recruited by another company and move to another state to work for them.
This literally happens everyday to most adults I know.

Long story short, I live in place that I have only lived 6 months and my favorite hobby is reading.
You become an adult and a nerd who doesn’t like three-day weekends because they remind you how badly you need to clean your room.

I forget where I was going with this post, but it is important to document these things so that the internet and my possible future children know these things about my life. That I was a single woman who was a successful worker who ruins long weekends.
It’s just two-day weekends are so great. Saturdays are for errands and then Sundays are for church.

I hope this post answered some of your questions about adults and Hulu.

Welcome to 2016

So, it’s been almost 8 months since I last posted on my blog. In fact, my blog was hidden from the world during that time. I had it marked private and I even was considering deleting it altogether.
I had this moment last year (which the beginning of last year was not a good one for me) where I suddenly was afraid of how public I was on the Internet and I decided that I needed to remove myself altogether. I was worried about things I may have said that weren’t the best to say, so I decided I was done with my blog.

Now, I wasn’t having a good time at the beginning of last year. I was very unhappy and my mind was in a very dark place. Which means that every situation I looked at was very pessimistic.
Suddenly my blog was going to be a source of horrible situations from people who don’t know me who might misinterpret what I had said.
So, I deleted my Twitter account and marked my blog as private so only I could see it.

My 2015 got significantly better though in the last 5 months of the year and yesterday I had the overwhelming need to write again. I have always been a writer and I need to write to express myself.
I have been thinking a lot about stories I wanted to write previously and things I was wanting to express, but I did not have any thoughts about acting on these.

Then yesterday it was all of a sudden that I needed to have my blog again. I needed to be able to write on my blog and to have a record of my thoughts and a medium to express myself.
Luckily I didn’t dwell on it and just sprung into action! (Which sounds a lot cooler than me just sitting at a computer working through getting my blog back public and my domains fixed.)

So, here I am at my blog again.
Life is still weird, but I am a lot happier about it. We have all broken the threshold of 2016 and are all on the adventure of the first day of it.

My 2016 hasn’t been so crazy. I counted 5 coworkers yesterday who told me in one way or another that I seemed like a “wild” person and seriously asked me to be safe last night.
Little did they know that I was sick and the craziest thing I did was buy some pizza. I fell asleep at 8 pm and was not conscious in 2016 until 5 am when I had to go to the bathroom.
The first thought I had in 2016 was not “Happy New Year”, but actually

I wonder if there is a Black Widow in my slipper.

I know such wild party tales are something you only see in movies, but I am actually going into 2016 with a huge sense of optimism. Things looked up at the end of 2015 and I am so excited.

Also, there as no black widow. That was just something that I saw in a documentary once and returns to my brain in half-conscious early morning bathroom walks. Also, if there is a snake in the toilet, another thing I saw in a documentary that I think about when I am not fully functioning.

Anyways, 2016 is going to be weird (this is a reference to my blog title, because I am corny yet honest in my labeling) and I am pretty excited about it.

Welcome.

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